Ten reasons England must win

England go head-to-head with South Africa in the World Cup final in Paris on Saturday and skysports.com's Tony Curtis tells us why the defending champions must win.

1. If I see Bryan Habana 'supposedly' racing a cheetah, I will scream. Honestly. Now come on, it was hardly a fair race given Habana was given the sort of head start I would give my two-year-old son in a race, so to make out that only just losing makes the Boks winger special is laughable. How about a straight race between Habana and another rugby player? Let's say Takudzwa Ngwenya! It has got to the point I am willing the cheetah to think, "Sod this bit of grubby meat, I am going to bite this fella to my right". However it seems the only way to stop the video being shown again is for England to win...

2. Is there any more accent more grating than the Afrikaner drawl? I remember the days I could order a pint in London without my ears being subjected to such horrific abuse that they curl in upon themselves, while who can forget the South African baddies in Lethal Weapon 2... that movie was ruined by the accents. So there will be nothing worse than hearing John Smit and Jake White is self-congratulatory mode if the Boks win on Saturday.

3. Never one to complain about the rough stuff on the rugby field - it is a man's game after all - but Corne Krige took dirty play to a whole new level during his stint as Boks captain. Who can forget the 2002 tour when Krige went on a mad rampage, attacking England players at will? Martin Johnson, Matt Dawson and Jonny Wilkinson all got the treatment, but England had the last laugh by winning both the game and the World Cup match a year later. Krige, though, only just edges out Jannes Labuschagne, who was guilty of a horrific challenge on Wilkinson in the same tour.

4. Eddie Jones. Pure and simple. The technical advisor to the South African team enjoys nothing more some "Pom-bashing", however he was forced to eat humble pie in 2003 as Australia coach. Now wouldn't it just be sweet to see him suffer the same fate four years on.

5. Kamp Staldraad. Now what on earth forces a country to put their own side through such brutality. This is rugby not a war. Back in 2003, Rudi Straeuli made his squad strip naked and sing their national anthem as ice water was tipped on their heads. And this was the nice part of the camp.

6. For the retiring stars. For Jason Robinson, there is no doubt this is his last hurrah, having retired from club rugby at the end of the season. However, time is almost certainly to be called on the international careers of Lawrence Dallaglio, Mark Regan and Mike Catt - although I said that about Catt four years ago! All four have been great servants for England and deserve a fitting send-off.

7. It is our game. If it hadn't been for former England international William Henry Milton in the 19th century South Africa would still be playing the Wincester School rules of football - well, possibly.

8. Please, please, please don't put us through seeing Nelson Mandela in a Boks shirt again. Okay it was a touching moment in 1995 when the then President donned the green and gold jersey to present Francois Pienaar with the trophy in South Africa, underlining the message of unity. But that was then, this is France and it is a completely different situation. People respect Mandela too much for such a cringeworthy act in 2007.

9. Time to face facts. Why, if South Africa so good and great, have half the Boks team only bought one-way tickets to Europe? John Smit, Butch James, Percy Montgomery and Victor Matfield are among the South Africans who will be gracing the European leagues this season. So wouldn't it be great to make them feel welcome by reminding them who won the World Cup?

10. To silence the arrogant so-and-sos. Okay I admit the English can be prone to a little bit of self-indulgence, but come on, South Africa are in a different league. Take Boks boss Zola Yeye: "What we did to England, 36-0, we will inflict the same punishment on them again." Will you indeed? Thanks for the teamtalk Yeye. However he isn't the only one. Having the misfortune of South African relatives, I have had my fair share of abuse this week. Well my little Boks, he who laughs last, laughs longest.

Do you have some reasons of your own? Email us!