With nothing to gain, why tour?
With England's forthcoming two-Test trip to South Africa looking more like a tour de farce than a tour de force, Andrew Baldock wonders why the English are even bothering with the two-week expedition...
Through no fault of their own, England coach Brian Ashton and his 32-man squad head for base camp in Johannesburg on May 15 with little chance of gaining a psychological advantage prior to far more important Rugby World Cup business with South Africa later this year.
Test matches in Bloemfontein and Pretoria would be tough enough challenges with a full-strength team, but England could take on the Springboks effectively fielding 3rd XV players in some positions.
Around 30 players will be unavailable for the first Test due to Leicester, Wasps and Bath contesting European finals in London the previous weekend.
The front-row, for instance, is an area of huge concern given the absence - certainly in Bloemfontein - of Phil Vickery, Matt Stevens, Julian White, George Chuter, Lee Mears and an injured Tim Payne, while there are also availability question marks surrounding Andrew Sheridan (injured) and Perry Freshwater (club commitments).
Due to fixture congestion - that old chestnut - Ashton might require a 45-minute get-to-know-you drinks reception with some players before boarding the flight at Heathrow.
Squeezing of global fixture schedules due to the Rugby World Cup's early September start has created major problems for Ashton.
Remember 1998? England were hammered 76-0 by Australia in Brisbane. Humiliation in front of an Australian audience is, I would imagine, possibly more painful than experiencing Chinese water torture.
They laughed at England that painful Saturday evening when the cruelly under-strength tourists could do little more than wave through the Wallaby attacking hordes, mercilessly led by Stephen Larkham and Tim Horan.
Nine years on, no-one is suggesting South Africa will threaten such a points blitz, but it raises a simple question about the two-week trip. What is the point?
Ashton is not the first England boss to find himself in this unenviable position, although such is the guy's glass half-full mentality, he will doubtless focus on potential positive elements when he announces his squad at Twickenham next Tuesday afternoon.
And neither should he waste time considering flying out any of the Leicester/Wasps/Bath brigade, however much England might need them in Pretoria.
Players like Chuter, Harry Ellis, Martin Corry, Joe Worsley and Danny Grewcock have bust a gut all season, so it would surely be of far greater benefit if they trudged around a beach somewhere for two weeks, rather than South Africa's high veldt.
Overseas tours used to be critical to a squad's development, but can anyone remember anything worthwhile to emerge from England's missions in New Zealand and Australia (2004) and Australia last season?
The statistics confirm it. Played five, lost five, points scored 51, points conceded 200. Average scoreline - England 10 New Zealand/Australia 40.
When England travel light, as they inevitably will, it is difficult to imagine them improving those figures.
As Springboks coach Jake White told the Daily Telegraph this week: "This is the start of our World Cup build-up and the team needs to get out there and gel.
"There is no question of looking at fringe candidates just because England might be a bit below strength. I've done all that."
Ashton is now left to piece together a squad minus many of its major components. A whistle-stop tour it might be - but it is time the whistle was blown on end-of-season expeditions like this one that serve little purpose whatsoever.