My big fat Bok wedding

In an unusual turn of events, Frans Steyn will be suiting up to get married instead of donning the No.12 jersey for the Boks on Saturday.

While the 25-year-old's wedding planner probably isn't the most popular person in the country this week, Steyn's decision to get hitched on a Test match weekend does leave a lot of unanswered questions...

The future Mrs Steyn is Linca Meyer, and no she isn't related to Heyneke as far as we understand, but put yourself in the poor girl's shoes. She must have spent the whole of the first two Test matches praying for nobody to ruin Francois's face for the wedding photos, especially with what happened to the likes of Jean de Villiers and Brad Barritt in Durban! Nothing like a black eye to spoil the wedding pics.

Top Billing or Huisgenoot or whichever glossy might be covering the ceremony might want to offer Frans a haircut and a shave before his big day, unless his sheepdog look is what young Linca fell in love with in the first place. Perhaps he'll quote the story of Samson and Delilah should anyone approach him with a pair of scissors. There is also the worry that none of Steyn's mates from the Bok squad will be able to make the reception, but perhaps that was a cunning ploy because catering for the likes of Beast and the Du Plessis brothers must be a nightmare.

You'd think Frans's agent might have had a closer look at the rugby calendar or maybe our dashing groom simply did not think he would feature in Heyneke's plans. We'll never understand what goes through the mind of a man who bangs over drop-goals from inside his own half, so let's not question the mind of a rugby genius.

Watch out for Steyn's feet on the dancefloor, after all we wouldn't want a bridesmaid's high heels injuring the man with the giant boot.

By Timmy Hancox