Woodward claims tour a 'success'
Is Sir Clive spinning out of control?
At the end the Lions' third Test defeat to New Zealand, Sir Clive Woodward prowled the Eden Park pitch with his reputation in tatters but sporting the bravest of smiles.
He congratulated New Zealand captain Tana Umaga on yet another impressive Test victory, hugged the odd Lion, chuckled at a private joke with England centre Will Greenwood and then gave his verdict on the British Lions tour of New Zealand.
"It's actually been a successful tour despite what's been written and said," he announced.
And you really had to wonder. They were either the words of a man in need of the men in white coats or someone who has been too long in the company of Lions spin doctor Alastair Campbell?
On balance let's go for the latter, although as the tour came to a crushing halt with a 38-19 defeat surely not even Campbell was capable of spinning the unspinnable.
Twelve tries to New Zealand, three to the Lions. A record 107 points to the All Blacks, just 40 to the Lions. Three Test victories to New Zealand, not even the merest sniff of success to the Lions.
Those statistics amounts to a battering of humiliating proportions.
In his heart, of course, Woodward knows the real score.
To his credit he admitted his team had been beaten by a group of players with "higher skill levels." He accepted that he had to "shoulder the responsibility for winning or losing."
What he wouldn't accept was that the three Test defeats were anything to do with his coaches.
"I think the coaching behind the scenes has been first class," he insisted. "Robinson, Larder, McGeechan, these are the world's best coaches. They've done a tremendous job."
That was such patent nonsense that any sympathy you had for Woodward, a likeable man, ended right there.
And you remembered that these were supposed to be the best-prepared Lions since touring began, a squad which had everything money could throw at them.
A band of 45 players and 29 backroom staff, including chefs, lawyers, doctors and a guy with the sole task of improving hand-eye co-ordination.
We should acknowledge that the final loss in Auckland was at least an improvement on what had gone before.
It wasn't the shambles of Christchurch, the Lions had come a long way from the sheer impotence of that first Test.
It wasn't the utterly conclusive mauling of Wellington when the Lions took a savage beating at the hands of a mighty rugby team at the peak of their powers.
Auckland saw the Lions forwards at their most belligerent. They wrenched more than their fair share of possession with Paul O'Connell superb in the line-out. For long periods they enjoyed territorial superiority and the ubiquitous Lewis Moody was a revelation.
They were tenacious and committed and their one try from Moody was the product of tireless industry.
No-one could fault their pride and passion. But outside that they were clueless and unintelligent. Uninspired rugby players rarely win matches against robust opposition.
Their one weapon was to drive from the line-out and hope they could outbattle the All Blacks at close quarters and pray the video referee could untangle the mass of bodies clearly enough to see whether the ball was touched down.
On one occasion he couldn't, on another he could.
But that is not rugby of which to be proud and that goes to the heart of Woodward's cardinal sin on this tour.
Woodward, the man who guided England to World Cup final triumph 19 months ago, attempted to fashion the Lions in the image of that side.
The problem was there was no Martin Johnson, Lawrence Dallaglio exited the tour injured almost before it had begun, Jonny Wilkinson was a shadow of the icon he once was, while too many of the rest of the top-heavy Anglo-Saxon contingent were ageing and fading.
Woodward employed tired two-year-old tactics against a side which is the epitome of modern attacking rugby.
Larder's defensive strategies, in particular, were visibly flawed, too often ponderous Lions forwards being asked to confront All Black speed merchants.
Even if Woodward had got things right there is no saying the Lions would have beaten these All Blacks, who won at a stroll in Auckland despite missing so many of their first-choice players such as Daniel Carter and Richie McCaw and having two men, Umaga and Collins, sent to the sin-bin.
They fielded a 22-year-old fly-half in Luke McAlister, the Manchester United fan hailing originally from the north-west of England, who orchestrated play only a notch below the master class Carter had produced the week before.
And they had the pace, strength and class in threequarters such as two-try Umaga, Conrad Smith and Rico Gear.
And so a tour which promised so much ended in an inevitable 'Blackout'. There were rare Lions successes and Moody, Easterby, Josh Lewsey, Dwayne Peel and Ryan Jones must count among them.
The lowest point? No doubt the prompting of Alastair Campbell for Woodward to 'spin' his way out of trouble. The media chief's appointment will go down as Woodward's nadir.
Like the decent man he is, Woodward will take defeat squarely on his own shoulders before taking his leave of a sport he has served well and switching to football and Southampton and the dubious delights of Harry Redknapp and Dennis Wise.
He can console himself with the fact that forever he will be known as Sir Clive, the man who won the 2003 Rugby World Cup.
But in his heart he knows his rugby career ended in abject failure.
By Frank Malley