All Blacks wreak havoc in Lyon
France silenced by the Men in Black
New Zealand recorded a terrific win over France, on Saturday with the visitors comprehensively beating their hosts 47-3 at a rain-soaked Stade Gerland in Lyon.
There were enough sporting/rugbying clichés attached to the build-up to this match to create a useful little lexicon of phrases for commentators and journalists to use in the future. In the aftermath, we may well be able to create a second reference volume covering hyperbolic expressions of inadequacy.
The match started badly, not helped in the slightest by referee Stuart Dickinson's insistence of imposing his authority when there was no need to do so. The whistle often came far too early in the first ten minutes, and the teams looked uninterested.
One scrum alone took up two minutes and twenty seconds as the front rows slipped on the soccer surface, while the previous two minutes - the first of the game - had been marked by kicking of the most ordinary order.
The French displayed one tactic throughout the match, and one tactic alone. In their own half they kicked, and the nearer they got to the New Zealand half, the higher the trajectory of the kick.
In New Zealand's half, they would either kick wider or even higher. On the rare occasions they got a line-out in the French half, they would drive a maul. This facet was by far the most positive and encouraging aspect of their play. It didn't yield a try - indeed it only truly came close once, and by that time the score was 37-3 to the visitors.
Once Sitiveni Sivivatu had jinked past Aurelien Rougerie and brushed off Julien Bonnaire for the first try, the French just didn't want to know. Damien Traille, faced with the All Black wall of defence, suddenly looked every bit a panicking novice fly-half, and as a result, he held on to the ball far too long - that is if he wasn't kicking.
Not one of the backs stood deep enough to help out the ball carrier, not one of the forwards looked for the offload out of contact. Runners ambled into their tacklers, where they were knocked back time and time again, and often on their own.
Shortly before half-time, the French scrum disintegrated completely, gifting the All Blacks their third try (the second had come from a fudged line-out). It was the second scrum of five they lost against the head in the first half, an unforgiveable statistic at this level. In the second half, les bleus fought gamely for the five minutes it took New Zealand to score a fourth try, and thereafter they just shuffled around from ruck to maul to hanging-kick landing-spot, heads down, shoulders drooped, heels dragging... they just looked plain weary and bored.
It is quite important, that last bit, for there will be many who point at the ludicrous volume of rugby many of the players have been asked to play in the opening part of this season. Twice since August the Top 14 has featured midweek fixtures, meaning clubs play three matches in eight days. Then comes the Heineken Cup, and in between all the French squad commitments, and all this on the back of what was barely a close season compared to other countries in Europe.
Bernard Laporte will have his French team together non-stop during the Six Nations as a result, but I doubt he would have wanted success in November's Tests to be sacrificed as a result. Burning out players is a hard mistake to rectify - ask Andy Robinson - and given the magnitude of favours in this regard Laporte has been afforded, his employers will have a right to angrily enquire what, precisely, is going on?
Fittingly then, the match ran as many Top 14 matches have run this season. Once the favourites had enough of a lead, they were quite content to pick off the mistakes made by their pretenders and just soak up the pressure the rest of the time. It made for a largely tired and uninspiring game, played in the greyest of drizzles.
It also led to some peachy tries. Sivivatu's opener was a fine solo effort in itself, and McCaw's second owed as much to the thigh-pumping driving skills of Ali Williams after he had seized up the dropped line-out ball, as it did to the hesitation in the French tackles caused by the two white lines (the soccer goal-line was clearly visible half a yard behind the try-line making some occasions confusing).
The third try was also a fine example of clinical finishing, with superb handling from Rodney So'oialo, McCaw, and Piri Weepu all combining to send Carter in - and it could have been any of three men outside him.
The score was 23-3 at half-time, with Carter hitting only one conversion and adding two penalties, and France's three forlorn points coming from a Florian Fritz drop goal that slumped over the bar every bit as airily as the team wandered about the pitch.
For the first four minutes of the second half, the French flickered. There was fight, drive, even innovation. Yannick Jauzion suddenly reminded us he could slip a tackle. Elvis Vermeulen threw his weight around - he stood out for the French for much of the match. The French got a penalty near the New Zealand line, and then stood around waiting for the ball and waiting for Dickinson to understand that all they wanted to do was tap and go - a process which took some 20 momentum-sapping seconds.
They tapped, went, lost the ball, Ali Williams picked it up and then flipped the ball reverse-handed to Conrad Smith, who sprinted 80m for the fourth try. Down went the French heads, never to rise again.
There were three more tries to tell you about. Luke McAlister once again reminded us of his running abilities and improvisation with a 50m break, a hand-off of Julien Laharrague, and a cheeky pass behind his back to Joe Rokocoko for the fifth try.
Jerry Collins initiated the next, ripping the ball out of a tackle and spreading it over to the other side of the field via Williams to where Sivivatu was the lucky one of four potential scorers.
Then Byron Kelleher, who had so tortured France two years ago when New Zealand won 45-6 in Paris, broke around the fringe of a ruck, and passed the ball inside to Sivivatu, who then handed on to McAlister, who scored in the corner. It was so simple. But it was way way beyond anything the French could offer.
France are now under pressure to at least make a fist of things in the rematch next weekend, and not only to save some face. It will not have escaped the notice of the French faithful that their two heavyweight opponents in their Rugby World Cup pool in ten months' time, Ireland and Argentina, both looked decidedly tasty on Saturday, and another limp surrender will go a long way to dispelling any qualms they had about visiting the French next year.
Man of the match: Nobody French! For New Zealand, Rodney So'oialo had a better than average game, busying himself in the loose, and Ali Williams acted like a flanker at times. But the finesse and jaw-dropping moments came from the wing, where Sitiveni Sivivatu gave a masterclass in finishing and line-breaking skills.
Moment of the match: There were plenty of isolated moments of wonder from the men in black, but we will plump for a dummy and break by Sivivatu late in the first half, a move which took him some 40m untouched through the centre of the field.
Villain of the match: No villains here, nobody seemed interested enough most of the time.
The scorers:
For France:
Drop goal: Fritz
For New Zealand:
Tries: Sivivatu 2, McCaw, Carter, Smith, Rokococo, McAlister
Cons: Carter 3
Pens: Carter 2
Yellow cards: Pelous (France, 24 min)
France: 15 Julien Laharrague, 14 Aurélien Rougerie, 13 Florian Fritz, 12 Yannick Jauzion, 11 Christophe Dominici, 10 Damien Traille, 9 Dimitri Yachvili, 8 Elvis Vermeulen, 7 Julien Bonnaire, 6 Thierry Dusautoir, 5 Pascal Papé, 4 Fabien Pelous (captain), 3 Pieter de Villiers, 2 Dimitri Szarzewski, 1 Sylvain Marconnet.
Replacements: 16 Raphaël Ibañez, 17 Olivier Milloud, 18 Lionel Nallet, 19 Rémy Martin, 20 Jean-Baptiste Elissalde, 21 David Marty, 22 Cédric Heymans.
New Zealand: 15 Leon MacDonald, 14 Joe Rokocoko, 13 Conrad Smith, 12 Luke McAlister, 11 Sitiveni Sivivatu, 10 Dan Carter, 9 Piri Weepu, 8 Rodney So’oialo, 7 Richie McCaw (captain), 6 Jerry Collins, 5 Ali Williams, 4 James Ryan, 3 Carl Hayman, 2 Anton Oliver, 1 Tony Woodcock.
Replacements: 16 Keven Mealamu, 17 Neemia Tialata, 18 Jason Eaton, 19 Chris Masoe, 20 Byron Kelleher, 21 Ma'a Nonu, 22 Malili Muliaina.
Referee: Stuart Dickinson (Australia)
Touch judges: Alain Rolland Simon McDowell (both Ireland)
Television match official: Nigel Whitehouse (Wales)
By Danny Stephens